getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
oh god was she eating orange peels again
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
