I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
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