Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
