I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
