something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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