wrigley field is MILF paradise
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize