she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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