It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
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