we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Randomize
