i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
