batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
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