In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
found the other keg... it's in the tree
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
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