Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
