ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
