glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
