YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
