Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Randomize
