Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
