Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
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