no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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