i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Just high enough for therapy.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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