Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
