Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
