one word: firstdatebathroomanal
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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