whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
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It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
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