Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
