A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
