I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize