I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
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