Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
