like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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