No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
