You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
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