I swear she didn't look like that last week.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
