I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Randomize