he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Randomize
