she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
