Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
So vagazzling was a success
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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