I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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