the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Randomize
