Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)