Texts From Last Night

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  (214): View more from Texas

  The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi

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  (214): The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi http://tfl.nu/pckk
  Replies (2) Good night (973) Bad night (454)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...

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  (440): dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so... http://tfl.nu/5ecd
  Replies (8) Good night (507) Bad night (1875)
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  (434): View more from Virginia

  He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.

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  (434): He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears. http://tfl.nu/acnv
  Replies (41) Good night (12791) Bad night (1426)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.

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  (215): I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me. http://tfl.nu/0b6p
  Replies (6) Good night (3266) Bad night (1169)
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  (760): View more from California

  If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone

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  (760): If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone http://tfl.nu/69r6
  Replies (20) Good night (8075) Bad night (1148)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.

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  (208): Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out. http://tfl.nu/579a
  Replies (3) Good night (2242) Bad night (807)
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  (507): View more from Minnesota

  currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.

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  (507): currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing. http://tfl.nu/nh19
  Replies (9) Good night (1835) Bad night (677)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk

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  (630): I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk http://tfl.nu/t8bq
  Replies (6) Good night (2027) Bad night (550)
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  (805): View more from California

  Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.

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  (805): Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012. http://tfl.nu/u0sr
  Replies (3) Good night (1219) Bad night (667)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.

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  (847): He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris. http://tfl.nu/t2sy
  Replies (5) Good night (1027) Bad night (882)
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.

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  (416): I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me. http://tfl.nu/zzjd
  Replies (9) Good night (573) Bad night (1230)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"

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  (651): I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift" http://tfl.nu/0adm
  Replies (8) Good night (3062) Bad night (499)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.

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  (775): I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me. http://tfl.nu/o8pj
  Replies (1) Good night (623) Bad night (301)
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  (281): View more from Texas

  Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.

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  (281): Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice. http://tfl.nu/w31k
  Replies (2) Good night (634) Bad night (192)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.

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  (406): I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler. http://tfl.nu/7ln7
  Replies (4) Good night (701) Bad night (265)

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