Texts From Last Night

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  (205): View more from Alabama

  I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...

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  (205): I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand... http://tfl.nu/3a2z
  Replies (8) Good night (1873) Bad night (732)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?

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  (850): Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today? http://tfl.nu/xk43
  Replies (54) Good night (1105) Bad night (4667)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ

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  (206): My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ http://tfl.nu/st4o
  Replies (23) Good night (1062) Bad night (1730)
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  Her name starts with A and ends with whore.

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  (706): Her name starts with A and ends with whore. http://tfl.nu/o8d5
  Replies (12) Good night (1670) Bad night (3671)
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  (328): View more from

  im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?

  (1-328): View more from

  anal.

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  (328): im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is? (1-328): anal. http://tfl.nu/bglg
  Replies (33) Good night (5949) Bad night (1599)
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  I want you more than these girls want KFC

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  (604): I want you more than these girls want KFC http://tfl.nu/a34i
  Replies (37) Good night (3852) Bad night (982)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.

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  (215): winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am. http://tfl.nu/p45r
  Replies (26) Good night (4765) Bad night (2383)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments

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  (954): It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments http://tfl.nu/zq97
  Replies (15) Good night (4511) Bad night (1506)
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  (315): View more from New York

  Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.

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  (315): Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30. http://tfl.nu/jue0
  Replies (4) Good night (2586) Bad night (1391)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  then he tried to convert me to islam

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  (203): then he tried to convert me to islam http://tfl.nu/h9gq
  Replies (23) Good night (1566) Bad night (5178)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.

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  (602): You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger. http://tfl.nu/mosc
  Replies (4) Good night (2121) Bad night (838)
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  May the one with the liver that just won't quit win

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  (843): May the one with the liver that just won't quit win http://tfl.nu/5sn2
  Replies (3) Good night (1047) Bad night (622)
• Favorite

  (949): View more from California

  Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.

  (949): View more from California

  I felt like a god.

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  (949): Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list. (949): I felt like a god. http://tfl.nu/u6fp
  Replies (7) Good night (1248) Bad night (541)
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk

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  (850): He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really. (412): And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk http://tfl.nu/08bn
  Replies (7) Good night (1779) Bad night (479)
• Favorite

  (720): View more from Colorado

  In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.

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  (720): In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day. http://tfl.nu/haxq
  Replies (3) Good night (892) Bad night (362)

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