Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(203): View more from Connecticut

Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.

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(203): Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle. http://tfl.nu/zfv7

Replies (7) Good night (2597) Bad night (549)
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(315): View more from New York

Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love

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(315): Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love http://tfl.nu/13ff

Replies (78) Good night (26368) Bad night (3247)
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(303): View more from Colorado

GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.

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(303): GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car. http://tfl.nu/jp7a

Replies (14) Good night (1051) Bad night (4348)
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(770): View more from Georgia

his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning

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(770): his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning http://tfl.nu/bect

Replies (32) Good night (15614) Bad night (2431)
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(315): View more from New York

can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet

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(315): can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet http://tfl.nu/ofc9

Replies (13) Good night (4909) Bad night (659)
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(614): View more from Ohio

If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.

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(614): If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold. http://tfl.nu/55cb

Replies (14) Good night (5960) Bad night (914)
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(732): View more from New Jersey

please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.

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(732): please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me. http://tfl.nu/r1h1

Replies (2) Good night (2824) Bad night (784)
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(+61): View more from Australia

why is my forehead so bruised?

(1+61): View more from

i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.

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(+61): why is my forehead so bruised? (1+61): i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms. http://tfl.nu/t9yj

Replies (6) Good night (2402) Bad night (764)
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(916): View more from California

this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse

(1-916): View more from California

People like that make this world a better place.

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(916): this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse (1-916): People like that make this world a better place. http://tfl.nu/pvsx

Replies (3) Good night (1730) Bad night (565)
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(678): View more from Georgia

It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.

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(678): It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls. http://tfl.nu/0s5d

Replies (6) Good night (1208) Bad night (639)
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(916): View more from California

I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.

(831): View more from California

Promise??

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(916): I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird. (831): Promise?? http://tfl.nu/1nt5

Replies (3) Good night (746) Bad night (580)
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(423): View more from Tennessee

NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.

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(423): NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney. http://tfl.nu/1vaa

Replies (2) Good night (1152) Bad night (431)
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(213): View more from California

I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.

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(213): I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever. http://tfl.nu/344l

Replies (1) Good night (945) Bad night (286)
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(602): View more from Arizona

My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this

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(602): My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this http://tfl.nu/kojj

Replies (1) Good night (541) Bad night (287)
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(519): View more from Ontario

He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher

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(519): He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher http://tfl.nu/uiek

Replies (7) Good night (843) Bad night (339)

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