Texts From Last Night

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  (514): View more from Quebec

  you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night

  (514): View more from Quebec

  i got kicked out last time for laughing

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  (514): you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night (514): i got kicked out last time for laughing http://tfl.nu/qj8w
  Replies (37) Good night (3692) Bad night (638)
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  (760): View more from California

  genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex

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  (760): genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex http://tfl.nu/ckcw
  Replies (33) Good night (3437) Bad night (1494)
• Favorite

  (857): View more from Massachusetts

  he had to chose between the booze and condoms

  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  what did he choose?

  (857): View more from Massachusetts

  the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?

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  (857): he had to chose between the booze and condoms (774): what did he choose? (857): the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right? http://tfl.nu/iz27
  Replies (18) Good night (1308) Bad night (5407)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met

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  (716): She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met http://tfl.nu/xjfv
  Replies (10) Good night (819) Bad night (4656)
• Favorite

  (510): View more from California

  Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.

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  (510): Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day. http://tfl.nu/kbev
  Replies (7) Good night (1403) Bad night (2630)
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.

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  (541): Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk. http://tfl.nu/effc
  Replies (6) Good night (1024) Bad night (562)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels

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  (303): im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels http://tfl.nu/5yvq
  Replies (4) Good night (1859) Bad night (611)
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  (707): View more from California

  I wish your snatch was here

  (443): View more from Maryland

  If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you

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  (707): I wish your snatch was here (443): If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you http://tfl.nu/x7y8
  Replies (12) Good night (1662) Bad night (613)
• Favorite

  (580): View more from Oklahoma

  The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.

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  (580): The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference. http://tfl.nu/nnsg
  Replies (9) Good night (567) Bad night (1832)
• Favorite

  (240): View more from Maryland

  If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters

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  (240): If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters http://tfl.nu/bqf1
  Replies (7) Good night (1130) Bad night (423)
• Favorite

  (713): View more from Texas

  I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.

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  (713): I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it. http://tfl.nu/p4p1
  Replies (9) Good night (1425) Bad night (465)
• Favorite

  (347): View more from New York

  My day in three words: secret purse cake

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  (347): My day in three words: secret purse cake http://tfl.nu/hy52
  Replies (4) Good night (638) Bad night (253)
• Favorite

  (616): View more from Michigan

  EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD

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  (616): EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD http://tfl.nu/j1hu
  Replies (2) Good night (552) Bad night (195)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...

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  (+44): She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me... http://tfl.nu/3kns
  Replies (8) Good night (335) Bad night (224)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.

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  (425): So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad. http://tfl.nu/wlxb
  Replies (1) Good night (164) Bad night (390)

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