My hair reeks of homosexuality.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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