he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
We left the knife in your bed.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
