So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
