she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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