i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
