I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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