He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
There's always time for handjobs
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Randomize
