Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
