one two three fourrrrnication!
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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