just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
