Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Randomize
