I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
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