I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Lo siento on account of my penis...
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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