when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
i can't believe i had my finger in that
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
