uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
