bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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